THE Reality.

October 5th 4:15AM

I woke up from my sleep. Just like I did every night since the last 3-4 months. It really pains to be a blogger sometimes. When you have something to write on, you are on top of the world. And when you don't you think about it every time you are alone and you feel restless.

Anyways, I checked my iPad and there was this very long message, it was this-

"Hey I know that you're sleeping but I just need to rant bout sth. So… I miss the days when we used to talk like everyday on kik. We were so close I just want you back, you know? I care a damn lot about but I don't think you care about me anymore. I'm thinking that because most of the time you just say 'wow' or stuff like that. Please tell me I'm wrong?"

It was Xena Ofcourse who sent me that. Xena was from Belgium,17 years old, and yes she was one of my 400 kik friends but she was special. She was my friend since a very long time. And maybe I was starting to lose interest in her. I don't know why. I did't have a girlfriend since ages and if there was anything close to it, it was her.................and Sarah. Oh fuck.

June 21st 3:04 AM- "So I'm guessing you found someone else who's amazing to talk to because I can tell you don't really want to me anymore. I loved talking to you and I loved talking to you and I miss you so much and I'll miss you so much. If you still want to talk now or in the future just message me. I'll always talk to you no matter what happens or how much time goes by". That is Sarah and she is one of my kik friends who I have known for a long time.


Well,this is awkward. I've learnt something in life today. It's something that I don't regret about. Love can't be found online. It can't. You can't be in love with someone just by saying "I love you sooo much, I wish you were here blah blah blah" cause honestly I've done that, about 400 times and did it REALLY give me that feeling,which I am supposed to get when you fall in love and the whole world  around you turns red, and red rose petals fall on you from the sky and the violin starts playing? For 1 second, yes that does happen, then you realize you are here, sitting on your bed smiling like a complete retard and your mom totally gives you the WTF face. If you are looking for love PLEASE, for the love of god, love me, oki lame joke, but don't love people online. It is cool, for a moment but then  you just figure out you are shit. It took me 1 year and 5 months to realize that.

5:19 AM

This is my apology to you, Xena and Sarah. I am very truthful to say this that I wish it would last forever but it doesn't happen. Life is more about living it in reality rather than texting 400 girls. But look at the bright side, you actually influenced my real life. Which is kinda great TBH.

Well,thank you for reading this. Please tell me how you feel about Internet love in the comments and how you felt about the blog. To end this I would like to say......

"Live in reality."

Aaaaaand PEACE!

The end of "THE" beginning?

Well,it comes down to this then.

Last blog was left on quite an edge,I left off by concluding that she actually didn't block me. Then of course I would talk to her right?? I did talk to her.

We chatted for a few days again.We talked about our lives our future and everything.

I felt like I found her back,and this time our friendship will carry on!

But,don't you think that in all of the times I've written my blogs,things have always turned out to be unexpected?

Things did!

I wrote my first love story, titled "Insert lovable title here" , and the first person I asked to give an opinion was of course her.

She read it,and then kinda mocked me.Told me it was terrible and it was shit.

Now call me an emotional wreck but yea i guess,that's what I am! I got offended! and over that she kinda did flaunt about her own blogs and shit!

You would be laughing Miss Cashews,I know. But I realized and I did ask you  this question several times. "How does a guy,living thousands of miles away from you,give a f**k about you? despite the fact that he has kiked over 300 girls.And to add to that that girl doesn't give a shit about him anyways."

If you remember in my 2nd blog,I told her to block me and have a good life ahead,this time I BLOCKED HER! I blocked the best girl I've ever met online.

So,where do we go from here?? What happens to the guy who actually gives a shit about her???

I think,I wouldn't call this as the end to our friendship,call me a creep miss cashews, but I feel that the girl of the century will eventually no longer exist in my memory.

Yea,I will remember her.I may be in contact with her,I may find her interesting again. But I am sure of this,I will never write about her.

So,hence I've titled this "The end of "THE" beginning?". It all began on January 8th. It ended many times.

I have no regrets,and that's how life should be. I've shared everything I wanted to let out,it feels amazing!

23:25 16th April.

This moment I am happy and curious to know about what is going to happen in life.

Thanks for all your support and all the time you've spent reading my blogs!! It's been an amazing turn out of events and I feel that you are very much responsible for it! Bye! and PEACE!

"We are just ordinary people,you and me.

Time will turn us into statues................eventually."

Epilogue

19:20 April 15th 2014.

Hey guys,how you doing? I am going to stop blogging on this blog because of personal reasons and I want you to know that I am not going to stop blogging.I would be writing blogs else where. "Being ME!"  was my first blog and it was seriously an amazing journey,100 views in the first hour,800 views in 20 days. Now enough bragging and lets get down to it.This is my last blog and I wanted to write something special,so I decided to write about the very reason of the inception of this blog.MISS CASHEWS! Now you might be wondering what actually happened after she blocked me and everything well here it is......

To start with IT WASN'T AS DRAMATIC AS IT SOUNDS!! Yea,you think I would just forget about the girl of the century just like that?? You are weird. or probably I am weird.. anyways,I was in touch with her best friend at that time and that eventually led to her unblocking me on kik! Yea so we chatted.. for weeks!! and then things got bad. Because of the time difference she couldn't be up late at night,so when I would come back from college she would be going to sleep.I really didn't like it.So I decided that I need to give my academics top priority! I decided to quit kik! and I did,FOR 2 MONTHS! I came back after my exams, I searched her name through my contacts.I COULDN'T FIND IT!! Then I messaged her best friend.She told me that apparently she blocked me because I was a pathetic human being,she used vulgar words but I don't want to say them here.So I took it in,yea I know I am depressing! One day I was searching for this girl named Alexis..... and just below her name was some girl called "amity" and when i saw her pic,IT WAS MISS CASHEWS! but she blocked me,that means what ever I would send her wouldn't eventually reach her. So for not looking like a dumbass I sent her "." and she replied "?". SHIIIT!

So apparently for yet another time I was in mini depression and I got out of it! (I know how lame that sounds.)

So let me ask you a question where do you see this heading?? An endless one sided online love affair? She saying " I miss you" ? or something like I didn't talk to her after that?? or the possibility that this blog is heading into an EIGHT BLOG???? XD

Guys. You guessed it. See you in a few hours. PEACE!
P.S-Oh yeaa the reason I am writing this blog is because it's her birthday today,my site might go down after she has read this but screw it! 

RP

Roleplay, I did not know what this meant until a few hours from now, it means Role-Playing. RP'ers are basically people who want to escape from reality and write Portraying a fictional character. So in the path of me messaging random girls, I met an RP'er. Her name is Malia. Initially when she told me that she was an RP'er, I didn't really bother about what is it, as she looked very interesting and I didn't know what an RP'er is and I didn't want to sound like a dumbass asking her. So I told her about my blog, she seemed to be interested. Now here is when the bull shit happens. On her Twitter profile her location was set as Atlanta, she told me she lives in Germany and on my blog, the last view came off South Africa. YES.... I GOT PISSED! And then I told her this intriguing fact.She said that she was an RP.So after doing my homework and after knowing what it really means I was infuriated and disgusted. C'mon how would you feel if you found out that the person who you have so much interest in has completely made a fool of you and completely told you nothing but just made up SHIT?? She offered to explain, and asked me if you would really tell everything about yourself to a complete stranger? I then asked her,"would you really like to escape reality and live in a world where everything is beautiful and without any problems.I mean your life isn't perfect,and that makes it PERFECT!" Then after telling her more such crazy sentimental one-liners, she finally was prepared to tell me her story. 

She told me that she had been RP'ing life. She's been RP'ing for 3 years.She told me her age. and her real name. She also told me where she lived.  Her parents got divorced when she was 9. She lived with her father until she was 14. She said her father had a drinking problem and he was is rehab for it. She was anti-social, and started homeschooling. Her mother got married to a guy who fights with her mother almost every day. She's cut herself with a razor, hiding it from her parents.. After hearing all this. I was stunned and these are the two things i told her, 1)That is either a very big f**ked up lie or 2)If what you've told me is true you don't have a reason for RPing.

Yeah. i said that. I mean for all I know she could just be playing me and I could just be getting played.Or She is just being completely honest and I am just being a complete jerk by saying things like that! I was dealing with a situation. A deep one. Should i console her? Would a guy who got depressed because a girl blocked him on kik really understand the pain of a girl whose parents are divorced. Should I just block her and forget everything that happened? OR Do I learn something from this? 

What have I learnt from this? I've learnt that we are not perfect, and we should shouldn't follow the path she did. You should be happy, brave, Make mistakes and move on, be happy. You shouldn't live with 'what if'' you should do everything you wanna do. Life is too short to sit around wishing for something different. Then our lives would be filled of people we loved from which some you remember and some you forget. Some of them still living and some of them dead. I've learnt to be positive, no matter how screwed up our lives are,no matter how many sins we have committed. I've learnt that no matter how much shit happens to us we can still afford to be like Malia. Fearless.Bold.Strong.She will read this,and I did ask her before making this blog and I will send this blog to her before publishing it. 

Anyways thanks for reading this blog guys.You guys are the best,and there is no fate but what we make! PEACE!

The last blog?

Well,when I posted my 4th blog on the internet,I was extremely proud of it! I thought I was showing my side to the world and people might like it.I was wrong, I was being called "nerdy" by people,well it struck me like an earthquake! That was the best thing I've written in my whole life probably!Call me greedy,call me what you want,but I can pretend not giving a shit about it,when I actually do.

When I first started this blog,I wanted to get something of my chest,it really worked.Then I started blogging for the people,cause I wanted to get somewhere in this world! Now here I am considering to end my blogging career.I am totally out of stuff to write to!

Have you read The Bible? I haven't read it completely but there is a part of it striking me the most currently,its the Ezekiel 25:17-                     "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the      valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you!' 

 I don't want to say anything more to you other than the fact that I am gonna stop writing my blog,and I will continue it only when there is a reason of me writing it and when I truly know the destiny of this blog. PEACE!

Special SOMETHING!

Special something,for me the special something is,the most controversial,THE HIGGS BOSON! TADAA!

For all the people who don't know what it is,its a small particle,about 1/100th of the size of a proton! The reason of it being so special is that it is the reason behind the big bang!(theoretically).The Higgs boson was first theorized in 1964.If it has been proven then there will be a start of a new era! there will be new laws of physics,everything we studied will all go to waste! WHY? Because this particle is said to travel faster than the speed of light(299792458 m/s,I dont like 300000000 m/s). But according to standard laws of physics NOTHING can travel faster than light,unless the Higgs Boson is proved!

With Higgs Boson and various other beautiful things in the physics world,most of the scientists say that "we live in a golden age". I agree! C'mon! Would you rather live like a stone age man under a rock or would you me reading the history books about the discovery of various things and say "HEH! Those people were so dumb!" THIS IS OUR TIME GUYS! I dont know a better way of putting this! We are creating history,every second! All that you see in the newspapers,about discoveries being made and people being proved wrong about thier assumptions,ITS ALL GONNA BE HISTORY NOW! According to me,when a person says a thing is impossible,it will MOST PROBABLY be proved in the future! let me give you an example.At the end of the nineteenth century, scientists decided that it was"impossible" for the Earth to be billions of years old. Lord Kelvin declared that a molten Earth would cool down in 20 to 40 million years, contradicting the geologists and biologists who claimed that the Earth might be billions of years old. The impossible was finally proven to be possible with the discovery of the nuclear force by Madame Curie and others, showing how the center of the Earth, heated by radioactive decay, could indeed be kept molten for billions of years. CRAZY RIGHT?? I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING EVEN MORE CRAZIER!
Chemists of the nineteenth century declared the search for the philosopher's stone, a fabled substance that can turn lead into gold, a scientific dead end. Nineteenth-century chemistry was based on the fundamental immutability of the elements, like lead. Yet with today's atom smashers, we can turn lead atoms into
gold. Think how CRAZY today's televisions, computers, and internet would have seemed in the twentieth century.

I believe,if we strive towards knowledge in physics,we can turn that impossible into the history books. Thanks for reading this blog! Please tell about this blog to your friends or to anyone who would like reading stuff like this and PEACE!

My inspiration.

-I am so confused right now.First two blogs,went good-SHIT! I am over it. I want to blog about something which is the marvelous,spectacular,BIG.Whats the biggest thing in the universe?The universe itself? parallel universe? universe and parallel universe?? Now we are talking!

You might have a wrong impression of me by reading my first two blogs,well.. you should know that i am interested in particle physics,string theory,astrophysics,cosmology and many other things which I may tell you if i get an opportunity and your support. It kills me that there are more people concerned more about the Kardashian's than physics.Fascinating isn't it?? Physics has to be given its importance and dedication and I will try my best to convince you.

Well you know the universe right.the big thing that consists of all the small things? Logically YES. Everything and anything when compared to the universe is small. Lets talk serious now?shall we?

Let me tell you how I got inspired, there was an advertisement on the discovery channel,there was this really determined and focused person talking into the camera with raised eye brows,and he said something which till today blows my mind away. He said "Can science be art,is fantasy reality? Where anything can be theorized and everything can be realized.What was once nothing,could just be that special SOMETHING??" Later after some research I got to know that he is Dr.Michio Kaku, he is a theoretical physicist. But,what was he talking about?? SPECIAL SOMETHING??? He said "what was once nothing" meaning the universe before the big bang, then said SPECIAL SOMETHING, what is that? I believe that special something is really special,(i know i sound stupid,but whatelse could you really say?). C'mon he is 66 years old,he has a Ph.D!!He doesn't know what it means! EVEN SUCH AN ACCOMPLISHED PERSON LIKE HIM! I am not saying this should come as the next million dollar question on who wants to be a millionaire but it is a hell of a question,and it inspires me,I often think about it.This has turned out to be such a lengthy blog! If you went through all of that,you did pretty good! I'll be writing more of these more often. I just want your support.Thanks and please do tell your friends about it,comment if you have an alternate way of thinking about this world and PEACE!!!

Getting back the cashews!

Well,I would like to start off this blog by saying thank you guys! I got about 130 views on that first blog,you guys are the best!

Cashews- Well i left off by saying if this is what i really wanted.well,yes,finally i found someone who i thought was different,someone who i felt kinda connected wid online.well she didn't she blocked me on kik.YES!Crazy ryt? Why? Because,i searched her Facebook account. Now you must be wondering,why are you reading this.well i was frustrated with myself,i went in a mini depression( i know how lame that sounds like) i wasn't able to think about anything else. So I blogged about it.
After i finished writing my first blog i sent her a link of it through twitter.She replied" I turn 17 this July!". Hallelujah! Problem solved!
So i was tweeting her and i begged her to unblock me on kik.after a few tries she did. If you are expecting some"And they went on happily kiking each other" you are terribly wrong.
Yup.
After kiking her and telling how awesome she is,she doesn't give a f**k.(u deserve some appreciation atleast right? And i asked her about a tattoo she had,across her chest. She said i don't wanna tell you" and I jokingly said i will find out what that means and she rages,"when i said i don't want to tell u what it means i mean it! " well.I was shocked.i didn't see this side of her before. Den i asked her how would i get to be her friend if i didn't know about her and den began her "idc"s.
I mean it doesn't really help a relationship when one person doesn't really care about you
i would date a dog over that!( i wouldn't) and then the most classiest moment when i say- just block me and have a great life ahead." i really did mean it. I waited 293 girls for d right person.how would u react if you were in my place? She blocked me. I don't feel guilty about what i have done. Still i would say that if you are reading this miss cashews,you are amazing.dont you ever lose your hope on guys. And i am sure you will find someone cuter than Harry Styles.
294 and counting... I still wait for the right girl. Are you the one? Kik me- astark123.who knows..... You be on my blog #3.
P.S- Thanks a lot people! Thank you for going through my shit again! Please tell your friends to read it,share it subscribe it,do whatever you want with it. Special thanks to my friend in Germany(Karina) and my friend in New York( zooey). And all my friends who have seen this blog! THANK YOU! GOD BLESS! AND PEACE!

First blog.

Its 18:36 here.There is something bothering me and I thought,i should blog about it.Do you know kik right? It is a mobile messenger,on which i have now spent countless hours trying to find someone interesting.I live in a place where the kik messenger isn't really popular,and if this blog gets a really good feedback,I'll tell why.
So back to where i said something is bothering me.so....
I started kiking this girl alias cashews.she was pretty,and i thought that even if she replies its gonna be a huge thing for me.okay so i have this thing where i can judge a girl by looking at her picture.(yes it sounds shit,i know but it works though). I thought as she is a high class,not giving a f**k about you,will say "you are cute" and will eventually say fuck off. I took my chances and I said hey!!.she immediately replied hi!.hallelujah right? Yup she was an Australian,she was 18 she gave me that smile on my face! We kiked each other on topics of songs, supernatural,d death of the croc hunter blah blah blah... I kiked her for 6hours approx.i told her that i was in love with her.she said "you don't even know me". Well actually i didn't. She wasn't some crazy girl wid a big attitude problem.she had no boyfriends,she had social anxiety.She just had her 2-3 best friends.Yet she was beautiful.Things started to heat up.she was getting annoyed.I was getting more intrested in her cause in all of my kik conversations with 293 girls she was easily the best.... What couldve gone wrong right? Is this what i wanted? Next blog.if u went through this shit,thanks! please make people read this share this.please tell me how i should improve on this and PEACE!